Siblings, Beds and Burned Down Buildings
by morbid bookworm
Summary: Three one-shots about the trio we all fell in love with. Second chapter - Beds : Gil needs a new bed, Alice is destructive and Oz is the cause. Just of everything.
1. Chapter 1 Siblings

**Hi! This is my first Pandora Hearts fic, but I am deeply ingrained in the fandom and have plenty more ideas I just need to write up.**

**I am also a die hard Ozbert fan. Just so you're warned. This is just trio frenemyship, but pretty much everything else I'm going to write has at least a hint of that. That's why we're all here, right?**

**I don''t own Pandora Hearts. But Oz is Gil's owner! It says so right in book three, page fifty seven. And did anybody else see that little extra in book twenty one about Gil's scar? Such a perverted old man! I was going to write a fic that pointed that out, but Jun beat me to the punch! 'Cause there's no scar on his back, is there? :) Stupid Glen. *Sticks tongue out at him***

**SPOILERS! For, like, a lot of stuff. Actually, I kind of spoiled something in the authors note, didn't I? Oops.**

* * *

Oz dropped his fork.

"Oh my God." He pressed both his hands over his mouth, trying to conceal his rapidly forming grin. "Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God."

Gil froze with his fork halfway to his mouth and looked across the table at him with concern. Alice paused in her desperate endeavor to stuff a whole honey baked ham in her mouth and stared at him like he was crazy.

"Oz?" asked Gil worriedly.

Oz shook his head as if to clear it, still with that wild smile on his face.

"Oh my God," he repeated. "Oh my God, _oh my God_."

"Wha yoo goin' ah 'bou', shoopih mah servah?" demanded Alice, her mouth stretched unnaturally wide to fit around the giant piece of meat.

"Stupid rabbit," Gil muttered, and then whacked her smartly on the back with his one arm, so the giant ham flew from her mouth and landed on her plate, slightly damp, but otherwise none the worse for wear.

"Oz, what's wrong?" Gil asked calmly, effortlessly dodging the silverware Alice threw at him in retaliation.

"I just realized," Oz gasped. His attempt to suppress his giggles was failing miserably.

"What is it?!" Alice growled. "Spit it out, man servant!"

"I just realized," said Oz again. "Oh my _God_. If . . . if Gil's actually a Baskerville . . . and Alice's parents were both Baskervilles . . . then she's a Baskerville too . . ."

Gil and Alice looked at him blankly.

"You guys are siblings!" burst out Oz, and then he promptly collapsed in a fit of giggles.

Gilbert didn't seem able move for quite some time after that, and Alice accidently destroyed the table in her shock and horror, while Oz was incapacitated on the floor, having fallen there in the midst of his laughter.

* * *

**Aaaaaaaand . . . thank you! I was surprised nobody noticed this little fact in the actual series. And there's another part in the third book, when Alice asks Raven about parents -that's my next fic- and the meat seller in the background thinks she's his little sister. So cute!**


	2. Chapter 2 Beds

**Okay, yes, reviewer Cstan, technically Gil and Alice aren't blood related as all the Baskerville's are adopted, and Alice's Baskervilleness is debatable, and for Gil, _that_ ship's been sunk, burned and sucked into tartarus, (PJO anyone?) The point was just that in a certain light, they _could _be construed as such. At least enough for Oz to tease them about it. But I will admit you were right.**

**And yes, technically in _this _one, Alice shouldn't be able to use her scythe. (She can't use Oz's powers anymore, right?) But it's funnier this way. I actually am particularly fond of fics where Oz and Gil are _alone_ in the apartment, but again, it's funnier with Alice in it.  
**

**I mean, come on. These three going bed shopping? Something's gonna go wrong.**

* * *

"You need a new bed."

Gilbert lifted his arm from over his eyes and looked up at his master quizzically. He was lying sprawled across his couch, and Oz was standing over him with a worrisome smile.

"What?"

Oz frowned, and Gilbert immediately felt guilty.

"I _said_, 'you need a new bed'," Oz repeated. "Don't you listen when your master is speaking to you?"

"Of course I-" Oz giggled and Gilbert broke off, annoyed at the teasing.

"Because," said Oz, his smile fading. "Alice broke your old one. And we can't all fit on your couch."

"You can have the couch. Alice is small enough to fit on the end. I'll be fine," Gilbert said.

Oz didn't say anything at first. He sank down on the edge of the couch next to Gil and looked at him thoughtfully. Then he reached out with one small hand and touched Gilbert's face, tracing the dark circles under his lucid gold eyes.

His mouth twisted in a wry smile. "Gil looks tired."

Gilbert covered Oz's hand with his own much larger one and pressed it to his cheek. "I'm alright," he said quietly.

"Mmm." Oz made a small noise of dissent. Suddenly he yawned and had to rub the blurriness out of his eyes.

"See," Gilbert teased softly. "I'm not the only one who's tired."

Oz grumbled and curled up on Gilbert's chest, gripping his shirt tightly. Gil wrapped his arm around him to keep him steady, and Oz relaxed into his hold.

"Gil?"

"Hm?" Gilbert looked down at his master's fluffy blond head fondly.

"Get a new bed. A really big one. That way I can sleep with you, and Alice won't get lonely."

"Alright," Gilbert murmured. "Oz."

* * *

"Let's get this one!" Oz said excitedly, climbing into the middle of a giant water bed. It rocked and bounced with his every movement.

"No way," said Gilbert flatly, glancing at the price tag.

"What's this one do?" Alice wondered. She pressed a button on the headboard of the bed she had decided to try out, and the whole bed immediately started vibrating.

"T-T-THI-I-I-IS-S-S F-F-FE-E-EL-L-LS-S-S WE-E-EIR-RD" she managed.

"Hello, and welcome to Mattress' R Us." The saleslady sidled up to Gilbert with a sweet smile. She had straight dark hair and didn't look much older than twenty. "Are you looking for something in particular?"

"Kind of," said Gilbert. He was reluctant to take his eyes off of Oz and the stupid rabbit for more than a few seconds.

"Twin?" the girl asked, stepping closer. "Queen sized, or King? Iron headboard or wood? Maybe your girlfriend would like silk sheets?"

"Umm, I don't . . . really have a girlfriend . . . I just have a single at home, and my ma- _friends_ are visiting, so . . ." Gilbert trailed off awkwardly and tried to take a subtle step back.

"Oh, that's very interesting." The girl reached out to touch his arm.

"Hey, Alice, watch! PILLOW FIGHT!"

Gilbert whipped around in time to see Oz hurl a fluffy white pillow at his chest.

Ten years of tightly coiled instincts went of like a well oiled gun, and Gilbert moved quickly out of the way, leaving the poor salesgirl to get a mouthful of stuffing.

The mattress store was plunged into immediate and total chaos. Customers ran for cover as Oz and Alice leaped from bed to bed, whipping pillows left and right, bouncing and screaming with maniacal glee.

Gilbert chased after them, begging them to stop, and the manager chased after him.

Alice got really into it and started ripping the pillows apart with ferocious growls and hisses, trailing feathers as she ran around the store.

"HAHAHA, THAT'S RIGHT, PATHETIC HUMANS, THE B-RABBIT IS HERE TO REND YOUR SOULS FROM YOUR BODIES! I SHALL FEAST ON YOUR HEARTS AND DECORATE MY THRONE WITH YOUR SKULLS! MWAHAHAHA!"

"Dammit, you aren't the B-Rabbit anymore, stupid rabbit! Get back here! Oz, help me out!"

"My store is in ruins! You better be paying for this! Can't you control your sister!?"

"She isn't my damn-! Oh, forget it!"

* * *

"Oz, it isn't going to fit."

"It'll be fine, Gil. Stop worrying."

"Seriously, Oz. There's no way we can get it inside, much less in the right place."

"It will fit."

"It _won't_."

"If it doesn't, you can just use Raven to transport it in."

"I don't think he's going to like being used as a _mattress delivery service!_"

"We'll figure something – ah! Alice, don't chew on it!"

"Shuddup, shupid man servah! This thing is blocking the doorway, and I'm hungry!"

"Maybe if we tilt it at a different angle . . ."

"What if we take it in through a window? That way we don't have to go through all the stairs."

"I don't think the windows are going to be big enough. Gah, why can't we just stay at Sharon's, or the Vessalius mansion? There are plenty of beds there."

"I want to stay at Gil's apartment! Deal with it!"

"Why!?"

"HAHAHA! SCYTHE ATTACK!"

"Oh crap."

* * *

The clock blinked **12:45 pm**.

Next to Gilbert, Oz shifted in his sleep, turning to snuggle into Gil's nightshirt. On the other side of Oz, Alice was sprawled over the sheets, her legs propped up on Oz's back and her head dangling over the edge.

Unable to sleep for fear he would wake from this dream, Gilbert alone lay awake, a cigarette tucked between his teeth.

They had managed, somehow, to get the ridiculously wide mattress into Gilbert's apartment. By that time, Oz and Alice had gotten cranky from lack of food, so the mattress remained in the middle of the front room even after dinner. The couch and coffee table just got shoved up against the wall. Gilbert was unsure how any of them would be able to get to the bathroom with the mattress shoved up against the door, but both Oz and Alice had refused to do anymore work that day, so they had all crashed right there on the mattress in the middle of the apartment.

Gilbert let blue smoke stream from his mouth and disappear into the air before glancing down at his master. This was more than a dream, and yet more than reality; it was the feeling of the very center of his universe tucked into his side, sleeping peacefully and temporarily safe from the outside world.

As he watched, a shadow played across Oz's face. Gilbert reached out to brush it away, and Oz's eyelids fluttered.

"Gil?"

Gilbert was quick to remove his cigarette and snuff it out. "Sorry, Oz. Go back to sleep."

"Mmm." Oz wrapped one arm around Gilbert's waist and wiggled closer. "Only if you do."

"I'm already asleep."

"Then I'm already dreaming."

"I'm too busy being asleep to talk to you in your dream."

"I'm to busy dreaming to talk to you in your sleep."

"I'm-"

"SHUT UP," Alice snarled.

Both Gilbert and Oz lifted their head to look at her, but she just snuffled a little and flopped over, muttering something about dipping clowns in pancake batter and deep frying them in hot oil.

"I think she's still asleep," Gilbert whispered. "Oz?"

Looking down, he saw Oz's breathing had already evened out as he lay curled next to Gilbert's chest.

Gil kissed the top of his head.

"Sweet dreams, Oz."

* * *

**Yay, lots of Ozbert fluff in this one! Sorry, it just kind of happens. I even changed the character thingy to make them a pairing because I didn't want to mislead people. YOU CAN'T STOP THEIR LOVE.  
**

**Review please :)**


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